The Standard (Part 6) - Sexual Purity

Pastors Rocklyn & Eva Clarke - Sunday February 17, 2008

© 2008 Life Church Ministries, Inc.

http://www.LifeChurchMinistries.org/

 
V Introduction
* Bible Reading 2/10 - 2/16: Ex 30:11 - Lev 3:17; Mat 26:47 - Mark 2:12; Psalm 32 - 35; Prov 8:27 - 9:18
> Review
V New Material
> Preparation
V The Standard - Mat 5 - 7
V Introduction
V The Sermon on the Mount was addressed to disciples of Jesus
* The Kingdom of God has wheat and weeds. - Mat 13:24-30, 36-43
* Not everyone at church is a Christian.
* God is in the character-building business - Rom 5:1-5
V Character is developed by struggle
* Muscles are built by struggling against resistance.
* Character is built by resisting temptation - Heb 5:7; Heb 12:7
* We break the marriage covenant because we're too selfish and/or lazy to take appropriate action at the right time.
V Adultery & Sexual Sin - Mat 5:27-30
V Marriage
* Marriage is a covenant to provide companionship
V Marriage authorizes sexual relations but is not created by them
* God created sex for marriage - Gen 1:26-31; Gen 2:18-25
* Marriage is the place for sex - 1Cor 7:1-9
* Sex is good - we enjoy it!
V What about singles?
* Celibacy is honorable in God's sight - 1Cor 7:1-9; 1Cor 7:25-40
V Adultery begins with lust - Mat 5:27-28
V Exegetical Question:
* Where does the danger of adultery begin?
* Desiring to commit the act.
* Looking with lustful intent is a danger sign on the way to sexual sin.
* Man looks on the outside, but God looks at the heart.
V Ladder of Deception - Things I think I can get away with
* I can have more than one spouse
* I can have a sexual relationship outside of marriage
* I can have a fantasy sexual relationship outside of marriage
* I can relate to people without proper boundaries in place
V My Experience
V You're never exempt from lust
* You might not have a weakness for Playboy, but you might have a weakness for the June 1983 issue.
* Giving myself permission to buy Playboy when I was 16.
* Impact of my pornography bondage on my children.
V Get rid of anything that causes you to sin so that you don't end up in hell. - Mat 5:29-30
V Exegetical Question:
* Why should you get rid of whatever causes you to sin?
V Because your sins can lead you to hell. - 1Cor 6:9-20
* If you keep on sinning you're a sinner
* Right eye - What are you looking at?
* Right hand - What are you touching?
V Homiletical Idea
* Sexual sin lies at the end of a chain of events. Avoid it by doing whatever it takes to break the chain.
V Consequences of the Fall
V Men and women
* are both vulnerable to lust
* often process sex differently
V Men vulnerable to preoccupation with tasks (non-relational)
* Men need relational commitment but often don't value it.
V Women are vulnerable to domination by men (relational)
* "Female Insecurity - The Gift That Keeps On Giving"
* Women desire relational commitment.
V Men and women often deal with sex differently.
* Both need relational commitment.
* Men are often less aware of their need for relational commitment.
V Men and women are vulnerable to thinking errors
* Minimization - "It's no big deal"; "One time won't hurt."
* Rationalization - "I'm just being friendly"
* Denial - "I'm not really being unfaithful - I'm a good husband."
* Relabeling - telling it like it wasn't
* Justification - "I couldn't help it"
* Spiritual rationalization - "God must be OK with it."
> Distorted Thinking -
> Entitlement
* Fantasy
V The chain of events
V Arousal - eyes, ears, touch
* Who controls your pleasure - you or God? - Luke 9:23-25
* We can limit our exposure to erotic stimulation - 1Pet 2:11
* Stop lying to yourself and tell it like it is.
V Access
* We have access to opportunities for sin and people to sin with.
V Action
* We cross the line and engage in sexual activity
V Appearances
* People suspect what we might be doing.
V The behaviors
* Seducing
* Hooking Up
* Being Seduced
V Breaking the chain
V Avoid arousal outside of legitimate settings (i.e. with your spouse)
* Men: Stop eying women.
* Women: stop making yourselves easy to stare at.
V Stop minding the things of the flesh
* Magazine covers, youtube, comedy def jam, etc.
V Avoiding certain things doesn't condemn you to misery
* Dairy consumption if you're lactose intolerant
* Exposure to allergens
V Check Your Ego
V Men often pursue women for ego affirmation
* Contrast my childhood with current status
V Women accentuate their appearance for ego affirmation
* Eva's high school story
V Limit access - Personal Experiences
V Establish and maintain boundaries
* No more booty calls.
* No more dating on the DL.
V No more hanging out alone together (your place, their place or anywhere else)
* The time Sharon left me alone with one of her friends.
* No more giving rides to strange women.
* Helping women move - D. T. and H. H.
* My time witnessing to D.B. in her living room.
V Engaged Couples
* Even though I'm not having sex with you I still love you.
* Our failures during our engagement.
V Emotional Affairs
* Don't look to someone else for the emotional support you should be getting from your spouse.
* Guard your spouse's emotional life.
* Our first 7 years of marriage - my emotional affair
V My first time meeting R. R.: "You should meet my wife!"
* Don't develop friendships with people of the opposite sex who are not able to be friends with your spouse.
* "His Needs Her Needs" by Willard F. Harley: Love Bank
V Action
* Stop taking the wrong action - 1Thes 4:1-8
* Take the right action - Get Married!!!
V Avoid Appearances - Eph 5:3; Rom 14:1 - 15:3; 1Cor 8:1-13;
V Don't cause your brothers and sisters to stumble.
* Gator Purify: "I like getting high - I'm a crackhead!"
* I think I can handle marijuana, but I don't smoke it.
V Strategies For Victory
V The way of sanctification - Rom 8
V Don't set your mind on the things of the flesh
* Youtube, raunchy humor, etc. keep your flesh active!
* Set your mind on the things of the Spirit
V Find alternative activities
* Learning
* Exercise
* Socializing in groups
* Ministry - serving others
V Discussion Questions / Topics (based on the indicated scriptures)

All repeated from last week.
V Group A: Sexual Activity
* For the purposes of these discussion questions and topics it is important to have a common understanding of what we mean by sexual activity. Here is a reasonable working definition:

Touching someone's body (directly, through clothing, or with an object) with the intention of arousing or gratifying sexual desire (theirs, yours, or someone else's).
V Group B: Mat 3:1-6; James 5:13-16; Rom 5:1-5; Heb 5:7; Heb 12:7
* Is there any sin in your life that you haven't confessed to someone?
* Are you open to having your character built up in the area of sexuality?
* How have you resisted temptation lately?
* What is God saying to you about this area of your life?
V Group C: Mat 5:27-30; 1Cor 6:9-20
* Have you engaged in sexual activity with someone you're not married to this past week? This past month? This past year?
* Are you aware of anyone who wants to be sexually involved you?
* Is there someone that you want to be sexually involved with?
* Do you regularly struggle with sexual fantasy?
* What boundaries have you established to protect yourself from inappropriate sexual activity?
* Is God telling you to cut something off today? If so, what?
V Group D: 1John 1:5-10; Eph 5:3; 1Thes 4:1-8; 1Pet 2:11
* Are you in a sexual relationship on the "down low"?
* Are you in a romantic relationship on the "down low"?
* Are you "walking in the light" sexually and romantically?
* Who confronts you about your sexual and romantic choices?
* Do you spend time alone with people who are a temptation for you?
* What is God saying to you right now?
V Group E: Gen 1:26-31; Gen 2:18-25; 1Cor 7:1-9
* Are you burning with passion? Do you need to be married?
* How do you feel about the idea of marriage commitment?
* If you want to be married, what are you doing about it?
V Witnessing Activities For This Week's Life Group Meetings
* Make sure everyone in your life group has a prayer partner.
* Pick a base of operations as a focus for your group's outreach ministry.
* Plan a social event for your group to which you can invite some of the unbelievers you've been praying for.